I feel like an insect stuck on a spyder web!! I am feeling stuck, overwhelmed, dread, & most of all fear. BUT…are all these emotions the same thing?? Let’s look at this closer……
I had to look these words up to be sure & here is what I found:
- Fear – n. an anticipation of misfortune or pain; the state of being afraid; something dreaded; anxiety; v. feel fear.
- Dread – v. to fear greatly; be in great fear; n. great fear; awe; adj. fearsome.
- Overwhelm – v. cover, bury, load, or weigh upon overpoweringly; crush; oppress; overcome with emotion or fear.
According to the dictionary, I am experiencing ALL three!! Ain’t that a kick?? LOL!! If I didn’t feel like such a chaotic mess, it would be funny…..but it is not!!
This is how I felt all through school, almost every day. I love to learn & I loved the “school” part. What I dreaded & felt all this fear about were my classmates. Children can be cruel to one another & they were. My mother was someone of stature in the community so every time she did something out of the norm, I was teased about it & bullied. And because I was so very timid & felt so inadequate due to Mom’s mental & emotional abuse, I would stand back & not put myself out there. This caused my classmates to think I was “standoffish & aloof” when in reality I was scared #x$tless!!
I still don’t know if I will attend the Reunion or not. I am almost paralyzed with the overwhelming fear!! I AM making preparations to go:
- pay the fee…check
- make arrangements for my hair appointment…check
- get something new to wear…pending
I think it is strange that “fear” is somehow tied to almost all our emotions. We think we are just “overwhelmed” because of all we have on our schedule to do but in reality, we are “crushed” by emotions (fear being one of them).
We are hardwired with the “fight or flight” response from birth. Granted it was necessary for survival in the distant past, but is seldom necessary for today. However, our body still responds with that rush of adrenaline when we feel fear of any kind.
When we become overwhelmed with our situation, our body interprets that as ‘fear’ & responds with the adrenaline.
As we stay in that state of overwhelm, our body continues to produce & release the adrenalin & eventually we become tired, adding to the overwhelm & finally the exhaustion sets in. We are that hamster in the wheel running round & round, unable to get off the wheel!!
What we perceive as an overflowing ‘To Do” list is actually the ‘chaos’ of our life!! Utter confusion….that is what ‘chaos’ is….utter confusion!!
So, what do we DO about this mess we have put ourselves in??
To regain the control we want in our lives, we start small. Have to test the waters, so to speak. So, here is what I am doing:
- Do a brain sweep over at least 3 days.
- Sit down with your brain sweep sheets & separate the items onto 2 sheets, your “Master To Do” List & your “Bird Feather” List. Things you have control over go on the To Do List & things you can NOT control go on the Bird Feather List.
- Now prioritize the To Do List & burn or throw away the Bird Feather List. (Destroying the Bird Feather List should release the burden of those items, making you feel lighter & more ready to tackle your To Do List.)
- Break down each item on the To Do List into manageable steps, small steps.
- EACH day, schedule & DO at least one small step on your To Do List. Tackle your To Dos in order of priority.Mark off each step as you complete it & CELEBRATE your accomplishment!!