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Have you ever been in a situation that you reacted to but then later it turned into a dilemma for you…good idea or not??

This happened to me recently!!  My best friend since grade school asked me out to lunch with her & some friends from high school.  I hesitated, but finally said yes.  The day came & I met her for lunch.  This is where I need to explain that I do not go out very much since becoming a widow.  I am a bit uncomfortable in a group setting.  BUT…I toughed it out to go to lunch with her.

During lunch the topic soon turned to our upcoming 50th High School Reunion.  Something I REALLY did not want to discuss!!  Oh, not because it is the 50th, but because it is a reunion of several hundred people that did not like me or talk to me in high school & nothing has changed!!  They still run in their cliches, the homecoming queen is still queen bee, I still have nothing in common with them!!

Well, long story short, after about an hour’s discussion, they focused on me!!  Was I going, why not, etc.?  SO, reluctantly with my friend’s badgering, I said yes & gave the secretary the check for the reunion.

By the time I got home from lunch, the panic was raising up in my throat!!  DILEMMA TIME!!!!  Me going to the Reunion…..good idea or not??

I accompanied my friend & her husband to our 45th reunion a few months after my husband died.  I was still in shock from his death.  We went to the Mixer on Friday night & it was a disaster…for me!!  My friend is a social butterfly so she was quickly lost in the crowd, leaving me standing alone…..as usual.  It was the horror of high school all over again!!

I found a couple of old friends & stood talking with them for a while.  I got a drink & went to where my friend’s husband was sitting & sat & talked to him.  About 9PM, the “Queen” & her entourage arrived & of course everyone was trying to talk to her & such!!

A little while later, I found my friend & told her I was going home & would meet her the next day for the Reunion Dinner & Dance.  Driving home, I realized that those same feelings of inadequacy & insecurity were making me feel sick!!  Just like in high school!!  See, I was awkward & insecure & very introverted when I was in school.  I was immature so did not know how to handle the teasing & bullying & such so I just withdrew!!

I have finally found my voice & am a secure, self confident adult woman & those people put me right back in high school!!  SO I did the only thing I knew how to do, I withdrew!! I did NOT go to the Reunion the next day.

Coming back to today, I am faced with that same dilemma…..good idea or not to go to the Reunion??

Now, I am human, didn’t want to, but I told my friend I would go, I paid my money to go, & I committed to another friend & Coach to go.  But I am still debating that dilemma in my head & heart!!  I called & made a hair appointment for that day, thinking that would force me to go!!  Truth is, I need my hair cut anyway!!  LOL!!

Knowing me, I want to withdraw!!!!

I am sure that you have been faced with a similar situation.  What to do?? FEAR raises its ugly head & takes hold & you become uncomfortable, maybe even panic!!

It is always easier to help someone else with this kind of thing than it is for us to help ourselves!!  SO…..I did what I recommend to my clients facing this!!

I took out 2 sheets of paper.   labeled one “Pros” & the other “Cons”. I laid them next to my computer where I can add to them as I think of things!!  These are the reasons why it would be good for me to go & reasons why it would not be good for me to go.  As I started my lists, I was thinking logically.  The pros were winning.  But soon FEAR arrived & the cons took over like a prison riot!!  I started panicking, sweating, heart racing, poor self-image on scene too!!  A few slow deep breaths later, logic returned.

So, the Reunion is on June 25th.  Stay tuned to see what I do!!  I will share my feelings & exploits as I prepare for this occasion, after all, you only have ONE 50th Reunion!!

🌠 ¸.•*´¨ ✫ ¨`*•.¸ 🌠🌠 ¸.•*´¨ ✫ ¨`*•.¸ 🌠🌠 ¸.•*´¨ ✫ ¨`*•.¸ 🌠
  May Stardust & Moonbeams light your path….Hugzz ~ Jae

4 thoughts on “Dilemma…Good Idea or Not??

  1. I guess this would be a dilemma! Hmmmm. My opinion, for what it’s worth, is that you should go to the reunion IF there are some people you’d like to see and reconnect with. Go, spend time with them, then leave whenever you feel like. If there isn’t anyone you want to reconnect with, then skip it.

    The Reunion can be about what YOU want to do, what your choice is. Don’t let other people make your choices for you! If a certain person ignores you when you see them in town, that is not a person you will want to spend 2 seconds with! If you’d like to see how someone else is doing these days – perhaps someone who wasn’t popular, who may have been as shy as you were – then approach them, introduce yourself and just ask what they’re doing these days. Again, leave whenever you like. In other words, make a script of what you plan to do/say when you get there, and especially make a script for when you want to leave! But only go if you decide you want to.

    Can’t wait to find out what you decide to do! Hugs, Nina

  2. Thanks, Nina for your feedback!! I still don’t know if I will go or not!! This is REALLY tough for me!!!! My childhood was traumatic, to say the least!! That is why I am reluctant to revisit those wounds & dark places!!
    Thanks for your input!!
    Hugzz ~ Jae

  3. I have been to 3 of my reunions and have felt the same way every single time. I end up with the same friends each time, because that is where I’m comfortable. Truth be told, I’d rather just go on a vacation with the same few people, but they are more social than I am, so I go to the reunion to visit with them. I hope you will go and enjoy yourself. I hope it will be a positive experience for you.

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