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What refuels your tank?? There has to be something in there to be able to give to others!!

Okay, sounds a bit strange, I know, but we can’t be focused & available for others until we refill our “tank”!!

In order to give out, there has to be something in there to give. In today’s world, we tend to go…go…go & give…give….give…BUT, we never stop to refuel!!

What refuels Your tank??

Is it sitting somewhere quiet, taking in the beauty of nature around you??  Is it having a nice cup of tea & reading a good book while curled up in a comfy chair??  How about a lazy, luxurious bath with your favorite Lush bath salts??

It can be anything that helps you to slow down, settle your mind, refocus, & recharge your battery!!

Sunshine, a hot cup of tea & a good book do it for me!!  What do you do to reuel your tank….recharge your battery??

Oh, this is what everyone is talking about right now, “Self-Care”!!

I am old enough to remember when I was a child….eons ago….my grandmother had a self-care ritual.  I didn’t know that is what it was, it was just something she did everyday….EVERYDAY!!

About 3PM, she would make a pot of tea.  She was a real tea aficionado.  She usually had these flat cookie-like things she called “raisin biscuits” that she ordered from England with her tea.  I would get home from school & we would have what she called….high tea.

It was really quite the ritual with her tea service, sugar cubes, fresh lemon, orange blossom honey, raisin biscuits or little cucumber & peanut butter sandwiches, her good china tea cups & saucers & of course a tea cozy on the pot to keep the tea warm.

We would discuss our day, & talk about the book we were reading, then for about 45 minutes to an hour, we would quietly read.  If there were words in the book I didn’t know, she would either tell me the meaning or give me the dictionary.  (She was REALLY a LOT like “Auntie Mame”!!)  This was her quiet time….her refueling time.

At about 4:30 PM, she would “get cleaned up”, as she called it.  She washed up, put on fresh make-up & perfume, & a nice housedress that was always ironed & starched.  She also got a fresh linen hankie for her pocket.  She would come down to the kitchen, put on her pretty apron, & start supper.  When my grandfather got home about 6PM, supper was on the table & for the rest of the evening, it was all about him….& letting him recharge!!  He had a hard job as a pipe fitter/steam fitter at the local oil refinery.

My mother was a hospital administrator & she had a folding lounge chair in the supply room & she took 15 minute power naps in the afternoon.

I miss those raisin biscuits & high tea!!  Like most everyone else, I seldom slow down to recharge & refuel!! Our world is now supercharged….moving at lightening speed with no time to rest, let alone have high tea!!

Well, my friend, Kirsten Rosetti is the queen of self-care!! She has been talking about its importance for several years now & she is right!!

I have started having high tea again.  Every afternoon around 2PM, I recharge for about an hour!!  Depending on my clients & meetings, I may have to adjust the time, but I still do it.

My ritual "high tea" set!! Every afternoon about 3PM, I have what my Grandmother called High Tea. A time to relax & recharge!!

My “high tea” set!! My friend, Paula, crocheted the tea cozy for my pot!!

My body is thanking me for it because it lowers my stress level, my blood pressure is coming down, I am sleeping better at night, I have more energy, & I just feel better!!  There are still some days I can’t do this, but most days, I do!!

Spring lilacs!! These refuel my tank, what refuels yours??

Fuel for my tank!!


This time of year, my big lilac bush blooms.  I bring in the flowers & put them on my desk. They smell so good & are so pretty!!  This refuels me a little bit everytime I look at them. When I lived in Florida, I floated gardenia blossoms from the bush in my yard in a dish on my desk.  I really miss those!!

Changing what you are thinking about, what you are looking at, getting away from your desk & tech devices for even 10-15 minutes allows your brain to rest & reboot.

It is best if you can go from your critical thinking & problem solving mindset to somethning creative, artistic….even if you are NOT an artist!!  This is for YOU, not for anyone else!!  This allows your brain to switch gears & helps it refuel & refocus.

When you return to your work, you will find you can focus better & think clearer. According to medical studies, sometimes as little as 2 or 3 minutes of creative behavior has lowered blood pressure significantly!!

This creative process uses the “other” side of our brain & so stress is relieved & our thinking changes.  Our perspective changes!!

Here are some of the things you can do:

  • draw, doodle, or paint
  • color a picture
  • play in your planner – PLAY, not stress over To Do Lists….do your next spread, add a few drawings or stickers, etc.
  • enjoy a cup of tea or coffee
  • have a glass of wine
  • take a walk outside in nature, notice the flowers & beauty around you, really look at it & focus on it
  • crochet, knit, quilt, or embroidery
  • DIY something
  • cut & arrange some flowers
  • light some candles, put on soft music, & take a leisurely bath
  • read some in your favorite book
  • get on the floor & play with your children or pets

Enjoy this quality time!!  Don’t be thinking about what you “should” be doing or what you have to do next, just enjoy this & focus on just this refueling activity or rest. You can even take a short nap if that is what refuels you!!

I hope this has given you some ideas on how to focus better & think clearer as a result of a few minutes of self-care!!  Refuel that tank so you can keep giving out to others!!  Please leave a comment about what you do to refuel!! When you comment, that gives us ideas to try too!!

I hope the information in this post has been helpful for you.  I am so glad you joined me on this Journey!!

PLEASE ask any questions you have, because you never know who you could be helping with your questions!!  I WANT to hear from you!!  You can leave a comment here or you can just email me at Jaebyrd@jaebn.com with “Refuel” in the subject line.

I promise I will get back to you as quickly as I can!!

🌠 ¸.•*´¨ ✫ ¨`*•.¸ 🌠🌠 ¸.•*´¨ ✫ ¨`*•.¸ 🌠🌠 ¸.•*´¨ ✫ ¨`*•.¸ 🌠

May Stardust & Moonbeams light your path….

Hugzz ~ Jae

PS ~ I am still working on my new project.  Could you PLEASE help me with something??  I am currently developing a new program & I NEED your help!! PLEASE post just one or 2 words, or more, of the biggest issue you are facing right now. You can comment below or just shoot me an email at:
(with “Issue” in the subject line)
I really appreciate your help with this!!




5 thoughts on “How to be “Available” to Give to Others

  1. Love your “me (tea) time”❣ For the past couple of weeks, I can’t sleep. I’m tired as all get out physically, but can’t relax enough to sleep, even after my unwinding self care rituals. 😫

    1. Do you do a brain sweep before bed?? I find that it helps to empty my brain onto paper before bed!! I sleep better then!! In the morning, I look at the sweep page, put things into categories (most of it isw junk & negative self-talk), then prioritize the tasks I need to do!! Last but not least, I schedule them in my planner, right then. I hope this helps!!
      Hugzz ~ Jae

  2. What a beautiful memory, and ritual your smart grandma had!

    I NEED that knit tea pot cover!! Where did you buy it?

    1. Celeste, Thank you!! The Tea cozy was a gift from a friend!! I don’t think she makes them to sell, but I will ask her!! I have 2 others she made as well!! I had been using my Grandmother’s but it was falling apart!! It was a quilted chicken!! Hugzz ~ Jae

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